Tears Over Coffee

tears over coffeeChapter Two – The Deep End

This conversation centred around the idea of a swimming pool being an analogy to life, or at least ‘consciousness’. How many times have you heard it; “I’m out of my depth”, “I feel like I’m drowning,” “I’m treading water,” “I don’t know which way’s up,” ” I feel adrift,” “I’m all at sea,” “I need to come up for air,” and so on…
Question: why do we jump into a pool in the first place? To have fun of course! Throwing yourself headlong into a pool, or the sea, is an exhilarating experience.

Some spend their time down the deep end, jumping, diving and doing back flips off the side of the pool. It can be a little risky and a hell of a lot of fun. Most of the time they’re out of their depth, but love testing themselves until they’re literally worn out and dog paddle to the side of the pool for something solid to grab a hold of.

Others spend their time down the shallow end where life is easier. The have their feet firmly on the bottom of the pool and to them the idea of taking unnecessary risks is simply ridiculous (did I mention not getting your hair wet?).The deep end people would simply die of boredom!

So, if the pool is an analogy to life, or our growing consciousness, the deep end is an interesting place to play. Delving into the depths, questioning, learning, extending and challenging ourselves, getting fitter, wiser, stronger and becoming very competent at what you do. Competent and successful, yes – but are you happy? It’s all to easy to forget why you leapt into the deep end in the first place – to enjoy yourself, remember!

Now I’m a deep end person, but there are times when I need to take a break, drag my worn out butt down to the shallow end, get myself grounded, and simply lighten up for a while – for the sake of my own sanity! To quote ‘Illusions’, there are two reasons for us being here: Firstly, to learn, always to learn. But secondly, to have fun. Sometimes we forget to have fun for the sake of fun itself. We are indeed playful cosmic creatures and we love to laugh. And sometimes, that means laughing at our own seriousness.

Tears Over Coffee

photo 4

Chapter One – A Cosmic Screw Up?

Ever felt like they made a mistake? You know, sent you to the wrong planet, the wrong family, etc….?

Knowing who we are, what we’re worth and why on earth we’re here are tough questions, and the same answer isn’t going to suit everyone.
There are however consistencies in human experience.

So let’s start with the basics:

There are two fundamentals that determine our sense-of-self as we walk through each day. Firstly identity (who am I), and secondly self-worth (what am I worth).
Now, if we were well loved in a perfect world, we wouldn’t question either of these. The simple truth is, it’s not a perfect world and part of our journey seems to be to get to know ourselves with total acceptance. In fact, hidden within is journey is the depth of happiness most of us are looking for.

Identity in the first instance is a very socially constructed idea. In as much, it is rather a shallow description of who we actually are, based very much in appearance and comparison with others. As long as our sense of who we are is determined by the outside world, we remain at the mercy of it. There is deeper sense-of-self we need to get to – an awareness of ourselves that is centred within the core of our own being. Reinforce this with a dialogue of positive self regard and a healthy self image, and we are on our way to a self-empowered life.

‘Self-worth’ is at the base of our questioning around deserving. The simple fact that we are questioning it (we are all ultimately worthy without question) tells us we have been judged, criticized, shamed, and made to feel ‘un’-worthy in some way. Self-‘esteem’ is a crucial component in this regard. Esteem is the ‘self-evaluative’ component of worth. It is crucial we stop evaluating ourselves in comparison to others, and begin taking conscious control of the things we say to ourselves and the way we see ourselves. This can cause a dramatic shift in how we feel as we walk through each day.
It’s all about becoming more consciously aware and taking control of our lives.
Everyone of us is worth so much more than we can imagine.
Sted.